


The Rita Skeeter Royalty Series

by ritaskeetered



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M, Jily Royalty Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:15:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10076432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritaskeetered/pseuds/ritaskeetered
Summary: Rita Skeeter is a royalty watcher extraordinary. Liveblogging royal events gives her life. Her life is made when Prince James of Great Britain and Princess Lily of Ireland are set to meet again...





	1. LIVEBLOG of the Royal Reunion: Prince James and Princess Lily Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I wrote this a long time ago for the Jily Royalty Fest and decided to post it here now! This is based on the following prompt by fetchalgernon/cgner: Prince James and Princess Lily are shipped hardcore by the internet.

**LIVEBLOG of the Royal Reunion: Prince James and Princess Lily Meet Again**  
_By The Daily Prophet’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter_

07:12 AM – Good morning my dear followers! The whole world is holding its breath today as Prince James and Princess Lily are set to meet again. The 21-year-old royals have attracted a worldwide fanbase after their previous seven - and very memorable - encounters. I’ll keep all of you up to date on this exciting day!

07:18 AM – First of all, a quick summary of the events that have preceded this day. After the scheduled reunion was announced, a so-called Jily Royalty Fest was set up by the devoted fans of the young royals. (Jily is a combination of the first names of Prince James and Princess Lily.) These fans have gathered in front of the palace, sleeping in tents and right now they happily await the scheduled balcony scene at two o’clock this afternoon.

07:31 AM – Excited squeals fill the grounds in front of the balcony as the doors to the balcony are opened. Cleaners make their way on the balcony, leisurely sweeping the floor.

07:45 AM – Perhaps some of you are unfamiliar with the history of the previous events at which Prince James and Princess Lily were scheduled to meet. Prince James, heir to the British throne, has met Princess Lily of Ireland a total of seven times so far.

8:01 AM – Ten years ago – both young royals were 11-years-old at the time – the first encounter between Prince James and Princess Lily took place. Accompanied by their parents and Princess Lily’s sister – Princess Petunia, the heir to the Irish throne – they opened an exposition at The British Museum: “ _Great Britain and Ireland: A United History_ ”.

8:04 AM – The three young royals were scheduled to open this exposition ten years ago by cutting the ribbon with a large pair of scissors. However, Prince James managed to cut a hole in Princess Lily’s mint green dress.

8:11 AM – “It was the beginning of a turbulent relationship between the two royals,” argues Bathilda Bagshot, author of _A Peek Inside The Palace_. “The Irish queen has had to deal with quite a few tantrums after that incident.”

8:32 AM – I have just spoken with three lovely ladies who were one of the first to set up their tent in front of the palace. “We’re just so excited,” said Alice Prewett, her blond hair wrapped up in a messy bun on top of her head. “It’s what we’ve been waiting for ever since the last meeting,” agreed the tall Marlene as Mary MacDonald – president of the Jily Club – reveals that she has a feeling this may be the most exciting encounter between the pair of royals yet!

8:59 AM – The Jily Club believes in the possibility of a romance between Prince James and Princess Lily. “They complement one another,” says Mary MacDonald, the previously mentioned president of the Jily Club. “You can just tell that they would make a great couple!” The Jily Club has thousands of followers all over the world, although no exact numbers are known.

9:23 AM – We have just received word that the private jet of the Irish royal family has landed at Heathrow Airport.

9:51 AM – Princess Lily was greeted by a large group of photographers and by – amongst others – our King and Queen and Lord Sirius Black, best friend of Prince James. Prince James will join the party at Gryffindor Palace where tea shall be served.

9:56 AM – Princess Lily is wearing a charming mint green dress from Madam Malkin’s Couture Collection. Madam Malkin and her team describe the dress as being soft ivory and layered with a transparent mint green fabric. The dress has subtle applications around the neckline.

10:14 AM – “Princess Lily looks absolutely divine,” says fashion designer Molly Weasley. Her popular collection of Christmas jumpers swept Great Britain by storm a mere four months ago. She even designed Prince James a personal jumper. “I received a very kind note from him,” says the beaming woman, currently pregnant with twins. “Apparently he is a great fan of my jumpers.”

10:45 AM – The car carrying the royal party just entered the gates of Gryffindor Palace. The crowds went wild as they caught a glimpse of the beautiful young royal. Signs went up, saying: WELCOME TO OUR FUTURE QUEEN and MARRY PRINCE JAMES, all carried by members of the Jily Club.

10:59 AM – We await the arrival of Prince James at the royal palace. He is on his way home after spending four months in military training.

11:24 AM – Prince James has arrived, waving at the crowds and grinning broadly as he eyed one of the signs: KISS THE GIRL!

11:33 AM – While the royal party enjoys their tea inside of the palace’s walls, I will keep all of you entertained with the story of the second meeting of the young royals!

11:44 AM – Prince James, Princess Lily and their families were invited to the wedding between Prince Lucius of Germany to the lovely Lady Narcissa Black. Although, Princess Lily’s family has always been regarded to be an outcast among Europe’s royal families – the Irish royal family was not recognised till the 1900s and is, therefore, relatively young – they were invited to attend this prestigious event. The wedding ran smoothly until the young Prince James stepped on the trail of Princess Lily’s dress and, as a consequence, the teenage princess broke her arm as she attempted to break her fall.

11:57 AM – After a very short tea break, Prince James and Princess Lily are on their way to St Mungo’s Hospital to open the new children’s wing, built with the help of countless Irish workers.

12:04 PM – While we await the royal couple’s arrival at the hospital, I will briefly review the fifth encounter between the young royals.

12:13 PM – The Irish royal family invited Prince James and his family to attend Princess Lily’s 16th birthday. Princess Lily – apparently set on revenge after Prince James’ antics during their previous encounters – pushed Prince James into the icy lake, yelling something about a giant squid.

12:41 PM – Princess Lily and Prince James have arrived at St Mungo’s.

12:51 PM – Prince James has thanked Ireland for its “enduring support”.

12:56 PM – Princess Lily has declared the children’s wing of St Mungo’s Hospital to be opened.

1:01 PM – The young royals will now chat with a few of the young patients before they will return to Gryffindor Palace.

1:05 PM – In less than an hour, Prince James and Princess Lily will appear on the large balcony of Gryffindor Palace to wave at the crowds.

1:11 PM – If it had appeared packed before, the area in front of Gryffindor Palace is now stormed by people who hope to catch a glimpse of the young royals.

1:15 PM – If one were to wonder why Princess Lily and not her sister, Princess Petunia, opened St Mungo’s Hospital with our heir to the throne today, it is all related to an unfortunate event at the third meeting between Prince James and Princess Lily.

1:19 PM – At this event, Prince James and Lord Sirius Black accidentally crashed into the painting painted by Princess Petunia for the anniversary of the friendship between Ireland and Great Britain. Princess Petunia has refused to see Prince James – or Lord Sirius Black, for that matter – ever since.

1:44 PM – Prince James and Princess Lily are on their way back to Gryffindor Palace. Slightly behind schedule.

1:58 PM – The young royals just passed the crowds, waving enthusiastically.

2:02 PM – One member of the Jily Club has just passed out. According to Madam Pompfrey – head nurse of St Mungo’s Hospital – everyone should drink as much as possible when in the crowds in front of the palace. Dehydration combined with the stress of seeing the royals in real life may cause light-headedness.

2:08 PM – No sign of Prince James and Princess Lily as of yet.

2:11 PM – Loud cheers and screams fill the area in front of the Gryffindor Palace as the balcony doors are opened. It cannot be long now.

2:14 PM – The King and Queen have emerged on the balcony, closely followed by Prince James, Lord Sirius Black and Princess Lily.

2:15 PM – “Absolutely worth the wait,” says Alice Prewett happily. The girl is holding up the sign Prince James had enjoyed earlier: KISS THE GIRL. “It’s a quote from Disney’s _The Little Mermaid_ ,” explains the 24-year-old.

2:17 PM – What on earth…?

2:18 PM – Too excited to type. Crowds have gone mad.

2:19 PM – For any of you out there at work or otherwise preoccupied: PRINCE JAMES JUST KISSED PRINCESS LILY!

2:21 PM – The young prince has his arm wrapped around Princess Lily’s waist now. The princess blushes elegantly as she places one of her hands on Prince James’ upper arm.

2:24 PM – The Jily Club has started to sing _The Little Mermaid_ ’s “Kiss The Girl”.

2:28 PM – The royal party has left the balcony after Princess Lily pressed a final kiss on Prince James’ lips to please the crowds – or was it to please herself?

2:45 PM – The impossible has happened. Although, if we had previously listened to the Jily Club we may not be as shocked.

2:59 PM – Mary MacDonald, President of the Jily Club, is in tears: “These are happy tears,” she adds hastily and then smiles widely. “This is what we have been waiting for. Finally, they are together.”

3:29 PM – But are they really dating? Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore remained awfully quiet when asked about THOSE KISSES. “We know as much as you do,” said the bearded man. “But they did seem awfully happy, don’t you think?”

3:38 PM – “There has always been chemistry between the pair,” Batilda Bagshot informed me exclusively. “If one looks back at their previous encounters, you will note there was always something there.”

3:51 PM – Alice Prewett has just reminded me that one woman foresaw the happenings of today. The Cornish psychic Sybill Trelawney has often been believed to be a fraud, but predicted a wedding between Prince James and Princess Lily on a Summer’s day.

4:21 PM – Sybill Trelawney is unavailable. Typical.

4:56 PM – Word has just arrived that the private jet of the Irish royal family has returned home. However, PRINCESS LILY REMAINS INSIDE OF GRYFFINDOR PALACE’S WALLS!

5:10 PM – Minerva McGonagall, Dumbledore’s private secretary, has neither confirmed nor denied that Princess Lily will be staying with the British royal family for an extended period of time.

5:22 PM – Lord Sirius Black has just left Gryffindor Palace. When asked about his thoughts, he smirked and said: “I just really want a hamburger right now.”

5:27 PM – As the black sheep of the Black family, Lord Sirius Black never has anything useful to report.

5:29 PM – Lord Sirius Black just flashed me the finger.

5:38 PM – No more news regarding THOSE KISSES is expected for the day. Thank you all for your attention, your royal correspondent Rita Skeeter.

7:48 PM – FINAL UPDATE: In tomorrow’s newspapers: an EXCLUSIVE interview by Rita Skeeter with an insider at court. "Those kisses on the balcony were certainly not the last,“ reveals one of Prince James’ most trusted confidants.


	2. The Truth Behind Those Royal Kisses

**The Truth Behind Those Royal Kisses: Insider at Court Reveals ALL**  
_By The Daily Prophet’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter_  


Prince James and Princess Lily shocked the world yesterday by sharing two kisses on the balcony for the world to see. To most of the world, these kisses will have been a shock, a revelation of sorts. An insider at the British court, however, reveals that these kisses were not as surprising as the media has treated them. One of Prince James’ most trusted confidants reveals ALL in this EXCLUSIVE interview.

“Are you sure no one can see us here?” asks the nervous insider as he looks around, his beady eyes scanning the surroundings. We are in the broom closet of a dingy, London pub. Not the most glamorous setting for an interview, but the only place Prince James’ confidant feels at ease enough to spill. There are no windows and I kindly inform my source that it seems impossible to me that any prince would frequent this filthy-looking pub.

Although he is reassured at my words, one might wonder why Prince James’ confidant is as scared as he is. He is pale, his eyes are restless and he fidgets with the hem of his shirt as he bites his lip. The man is clearly scared to death. “We are not permitted to speak about the goings-on at the palace,” he then whispers, leaning forward. “It is stated explicitly in my contract.” The tearful man then continues to explain that he is only doing this for his poor mother. He needs the money to support her.

Not only, then, does this brave man lay bare the secrets of Prince James’ and Princess Lily’s royal affair. He also reveals exactly how atrociously the Royal Family’s most trusted confidants and servants are treated. More on this in my accompanying article on page four: “The Greedy Royals and Their Starving Employees”.

“It started about four years ago,” the insider then mumbles. “Everyone at the palace has known for years that it was only a matter of time until their romance was announced.” Some of the employees at Gryffindor Palace are even closely linked to members of the Jily Club. Adam McKinnon, personal guard of Prince James, has been romantically linked to Marlene, one of the three female members of the Jily Club I mentioned in yesterday’s liveblog. “I think that everyone deserves to know the truth, honestly,” says the brave man in front of me.

And, indeed, everyone has a right to know the truth about the secret lives of the royals we so depend on. If the relationship between Prince James and Princess Lily will prove to be successful, a royal wedding might not be so far ahead. Prince James and Princess Lily may then very well be the next King and Queen of Great Britain. It is my duty – as a royal correspondent and trustworthy civilian – to inform you of their true selves.

“You will not state my name, will you?” my source asks again nervously. “Hell will break loose if they know it’s me.” After reassuring my source one final time that his name will not be stated, he relaxed a bit. “Those kisses on the balcony were certainly not the last,” he reveals with a shy smile. “They ran away from everyone else after leaving the balcony and retired to Prince James’ room.” Then, blushing somewhat: “One of the guards in front of Prince James’ room told me he could tell they were enjoying themselves in there.”

What this means, is for you – dear reader – to interpret. Certain is that Prince James’ and Princess Lily’s affair did not come as a surprise to those around them. “Prince James has fancied Princess Lily ever since he was thirteen,” says his confidant. “Everyone at court knows he’s slightly obsessed with her.”

This obsession manifested itself in his clumsy behaviour around Princess Lily during their previous encounters. “When Princess Lily broke her arm,” the insider begins, “Prince James was devastated. He had only wanted to offer her his arm, show her that he cared.” Then the insider chuckles: “Princess Lily wouldn’t talk to him for months.”

After Princess Lily pushed him into the lake, however, Prince James decided to change his tactics. “He would constantly ruffle his hair around her, show off his abs… perhaps Princess Lily likes that sort of thing.”

Lord Sirius Black’s involvement into this shocking affair, however, should not be underestimated. “He constantly tried to get Prince James to make a fool out of himself,” my source reveals. “When they ruined Princess Petunia’s painting, it had everything to do with impressing Princess Lily on Prince James’ side and ridiculing Prince James on Lord Sirius’.” The rascal Lord Sirius Black did everything in his power to stop the two young royals from getting together it seems.

Whether the Jily Club should rejoice that Prince James and Princess Lily have finally “seen the light” – as President Mary MacDonald claimed – remains to be seen. “They used to argue constantly,” says the insider. “I cannot imagine they would stay together very long.”

Yet, if they do stay together, the world may have to brace itself for more scandalous events. “Prince James hates protocol,” says the insider and this attitude has been fed by Lord Sirius Black, who the King and Queen have too graciously allowed into their home. “Lord Sirius believes in freedom over anything and Prince James has also taken this belief to heart.”

Princess Lily, on the other hand, is Ireland’s rebel princess. While her sister, Princess Petunia, has always been the picture perfect future Queen of Ireland, Princess Lily has never cared for rules as much. “She keeps up a smile when in front of an audience,” the insider informs me. “But she has a different side to her. She is just as bad as Lord Sirius Black, honestly.”

We will just have to wait and see what the future may bring. We can only hope that Prince James and Princess Lily will not bring the Kingdom of Great Britain to ruin.


	3. LIVEBLOG of the Royal Wedding: Prince James and Princess Lily Set to Tie the Knot

**LIVEBLOG of the Royal Wedding: Prince James and Princess Lily Set to Tie the Knot**   
_By The Daily Prophet’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter_

6:43 AM – A very early morning to you, my loyal readers. Today is the day we have been looking forward to for months: the wedding day of Prince James of Great Britain and Princess Lily of Ireland. The royal horses have been brushed, the church has been set up and there is nothing we can do but await the certainly stunning appearance of the blushing bride and groom on that famous balcony where they shared their first kisses two years ago on this exact date.

6:51 AM – I will keep you up to date during the day and bring you the latest news surrounding the royal wedding. No detail shall be spared!

6:59 AM – “For me, it was love at first sight,” said Prince James in an interview with one of my colleagues after the announcement of their engagement. (Unfortunately, the Royal Family has been boycotting me after I wrote a tiny article the day after the royal couple's first royal kisses.) Princess Lily had laughed at Prince James’ statement, replying: “I wish I could say the same, but he was so tiny then!”

7:08 AM – Lord Sirius Black has just been spotted on the balcony at Gryffindor Palace. The devoted crowds, who have gathered here with me this morning, cheered, earning them a wave or two as he casually leaned against the wall.

7:13 AM – “I just love Lord Sirius,” said one delusional member of the Jily Club. “You can tell he supports both Prince James and Princess Lily in everything they do and he is just _so_ handsome…”

7:14 AM – Clearly, this member of the Jily Club has not read any of my articles. Otherwise she would see Lord Sirius Black for who he really is.

7:24 AM – Moving on to more pleasant topics… We have yet to learn who designed Princess Lily’s wedding dress, although Madam Malkin’s name has been dropped several times. “You will know when you know, dear,” the designer told me through the phone last night. I take this to be an unofficial statement of her involvement in the process of designing the dress.

7:33 AM – When asked about the dress at the Annual Charity Ball, Princess Lily replied: “It is white,” her smile the widest of all the attendees'.

7:47 AM – At the UN meeting Thursday before last, Princess Lily declared that she was “very excited” about her wedding day. The princess has obtained an honorary position in the UN as a special delegate. She also informed the attending press that she was not nervous in the slightest and that she was making sure that her husband-to-be wouldn’t be getting cold feet.

7:56 AM – Prince James getting cold feet seems rather unlikely, however. The royal has professed on numerous occassions that he thought himself “the luckiest bloke in the world”.

8:03 AM – Movement at the windows of Hogsmeade Residence where Princess Lily stays with her family. Could she be getting ready?

8:07 AM – A source just informed me that the perceived movement was not, in fact, Princess Lily. It was the royal cat Egypt that Prince James and Princess Lily found on the streets of Cairo on their first trip abroad together. “Egypt is an absolute diva,” Prince James said in a previous interview. “The ancient Egyptians worshipped a cat goddess… I think Egypt believes she is that very same cat goddess."

8:21 AM – Prince James and Lord Sirius Black are, reportedly, taking a stroll in the gardens of Gryffindor Palace. One would think Prince James would start to work on his hair early in the morning as it never seems to stay in place…

8:38 AM – A car with Princess Petunia and her sturdy-looking husband, Prince Vernon, has arrived at Hogsmeade Residence. Princess Petunia did not appear pleased to be there, although this may have everything to do with the fact that the painting she painted – ruined by Prince James and Lord Sirius Black all those years ago – was meant to be showcased in this same mansion.

8:52 AM – Finally, a comment from someone close to the Royal Family: “Wrapped up my presents for today’s lucky couple. Guess what they are? @MollyWeasleyJumpers”

8:59 AM – The Queen just passed the cheering crowds in a car. She is thought to be on her way to Hogsmeade Residence.

9:12 AM – For all of you who have been living under a rock for the past week… Lord Sirius Black was in charge of Prince James’ Bachelor Party.

9:15 AM – The only positive thing I can say about this is that Lord Sirius Black had Prince James wear a jumper by Molly Weasley reading ‘Going Stag’. The antlers on top of His Royal Highness’ head could very well be imagined as a crown.

9:22 AM – In a statement, press secretary Remus Lupin declared that “both Prince James and Lord Sirius Black deeply regret driving on a motorcycle through London at top speed in the early morning.” Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore furthermore added that: “Boys will be boys.”

9:27 AM – Princess Lily’s Bachelorette Party was far more sophisticated. The bride-to-be enjoyed a nice and calm tea party in the gardens of Gryffindor Palace organised by her sister, Princess Petunia.

9:36 AM – The only disturbance at this otherwise gracious event being an unfortunate incident where a wasp settled on top of Princess Petunia’s nose. Princess Lily jumped to the rescue, causing the tea table to topple over. All the other female European royals were said to have been very disgruntled. Princess Narcissa and her sister Lady Bellatrix Lestrange even appear to have walked out on the party as they were seen shopping for new dresses in the Chanel store nearest to the palace.

9:48 AM – Speaking of other European royals… all royals have gathered to attend the wedding between the members of these two separate kingdoms.

9:51 AM – For your general information… When Prince James and Princess Lily have said their vows, they will both have new titles to add to their name.

9:53 AM – Prince James will be known as His Royal Highness Prince James of Great Britain and Ireland. After his future coronation he shall be His Majesty King James of Great Britain, Prince of Ireland.

9:59 AM – Princess Lily will be known as Her Royal Highness Princess Lily of Great Britain and Ireland. She will be Her Majesty Queen Lily of Great Britain, Princess of Ireland when her husband-to-be is crowned king.

10:05 AM – A car has just entered the gates of Gryffindor Palace. Undoubtedly to pick up the groom, the best man and his father.

10:11 AM – PRINCE JAMES HAS LEFT GRYFFINDOR PALACE. Greeted by loud cheers from the crowds, he is now on his way to the church where his future wife will join him soon.

10:14 AM – “The prince looks so handsome,” sighed Mary MacDonald, President of the Jily Club, as she stood next to me. Prince James is wearing a traditional English Guard’s Colonel’s uniform for his wedding day, which “nicely showcases his broad shoulders”, according to Alice Prewett, member of the Jily Club.

10:19 AM – The British and Irish Queen, Princess Petunia and Prince Vernon have left Hogsmeade Residence. Both Queens and Princess Petunia wear dresses by Madam Malkin. Prince James’ mother wears a fitting light blue dress with an ivory top coat. Princess Lily’s mother wears a lovely mint green dress – undoubtedly inspired by Princess Lily’s love for the colour – with an elegant shawl around her shoulders, whereas Princess Petunia wears a lilac ensemble.

10:24 AM – Meanwhile hundreds of guests are making their way to their seats at the church. Prince Lucius of Sweden and his wife look very sour, whereas fashion designer Molly Weasley and her husband Arthur appear to be delighted to be a part of the wedding.

10:31 AM – PRINCE JAMES HAS ARRIVED AT THE CHURCH.

10:35 AM – Met by an enthusiastic crowd, Prince James waved at the audience for a few minutes before making his way inside the church. The King and Lord Sirius Black followed Prince James, bright smiles lighting up their faces.

10:41 AM – Nearly all guests have found their seats.

10:45 AM – Movement at Hogsmeade Residence. The front doors have been opened.

10:47 AM – THE STUNNING BRIDE HAS EMERGED!

10:49 AM – Princess Lily is wearing a wedding dress by Madam Malkin. The designer describes the dress as follows: “Princess Lily’s dress is a high neck mermaid gown in lace with laced sleeves to the elbows. The lace used is recycled from the Irish Queen’s very own wedding dress.”

10:51 AM – On top of the princess’ striking red hair we do not find a tiara. Instead, the bride wears a crown of flowers.

10:53 AM – Accompanying Princess Lily is her father, the King of Ireland. He will walk his daughter down the aisle.

10:57 AM – PRINCESS LILY HAS ARRIVED AT THE CHURCH!

10:58 AM – Crowds go wild when they see the beautiful bride emerge from the car. The princess greets the crowds accordingly and even twirls around a little to earn them a good look at the dress she is wearing. Her smile can brighten everyone’s day.

11:00 AM – The doors to the church have opened and Princess Lily and her father now make their way to meet Prince James.

11:01 AM – The famous Hogwarts Choir sings a lovely tune to accompany Princess Lily’s entrance.

11:02 AM – Lord Sirius Black looks positively giddy, whispering words to Prince James who has his back turned to Princess Lily. His stance indicates that he is impatient to see his bride.

11:03 AM – THE KING OF IRELAND HAS PLACED PRINCESS LILY’S HAND IN PRINCE JAMES’.

11:04 AM – Prince James looks over the moon. Are those tears in his eyes?

11:08 AM – Self-proclaimed lip reader Dedalus Diggle has just informed me that Lord Sirius Black told Prince James “She looks bloody gorgeous!” when Princess Lily made her way down the aisle.

11:09 AM – One would think Lord Sirius Black would keep his swearing to a minimum inside a church.

11:12 AM – The ceremony has started of lovely. Prince James and Princess Lily are holding hands and sharing happy smiles as they listen to the Hogwarts Choir.

11:16 AM – Irish Reverend Horace Slughorn has welcomed the guests at the wedding of Prince James and Princess Lily. “The beautiful pair in front of me requested me to welcome especially the many members of the Jily Club who have always so graciously supported both Prince James and Princess Lily,” says the man with a smile.

11:18 AM – “I have no words,” the President of the Jily Club responds with tears in her eyes when asked what she thinks of the tribute to the Jily Club made by the young royals.

11:25 AM – Slughorn goes down memory lane now… “Who would have thought that the young boy who once – in her own words – was ‘a right royal toerag’ to her, would today be marrying that pretty little princess that caused him – I quote – ‘a trampled heart on several occasions’.”

11:33 AM – It’s time for the bride and groom to say their vows.

11:35 AM – Prince James and Princess Lily look as in love as they can be as they hold hands and send each other a smile.

11:45 AM – THEY SAID YES! Prince James and Princess Lily are married!

11:48 AM – The bride and groom share a kiss, earning them a wolf whistle from someone in the audience.

11:50 AM – This someone is – without a doubt – Lord Sirius Black, whose grin stretches from ear to ear as he sits next to the King and Queen.

11:54 AM – Are those tears in Princess Lily’s eyes? The princess looks emotional as she walks down the aisle, arms linked with Prince James, who high fives press secretary Remus Lupin and two of Molly Weasley’s children with a bright smile on his face.

11:57 AM – The bells ring as the newlyweds make their way out of the church.

12:01 PM – The beautiful couple stops to wave at the crowds.

12:03 PM – To the utter delight of the audience, Princess Lily stands on the tips of her toes to place a kiss on Prince James’ cheek.

12:06 PM – The couple will ride to Gryffindor Palace in a carriage dating from the 16th century. According to the castle’s horseman - Hagrid - the horses are in top form and can deal with any disturbance on the road. "They’re real brave beasts, they are."

12:11 PM – The couple is now on their way to Gryffindor Palace where they will show up on the balcony to repeat that famous scene of two years ago.

12:17 PM – The Irish Royal Family and the British Royal Family follow Prince James and Princess Lily in two different carriages.

12:31 PM – Princess Lily has just thrown her bouquet of flowers in the direction of the members of the Jily Club!

12:36 PM – The delighted Alice Prewett has just caught the royal flowers. "Perhaps my boyfriend Frank Longbottom will be getting some ideas from this…” says the girl with a wide smile.

12:41 PM – Lord Sirius Black is doing some sort of weird dance as he passes the cheering crowds in the royal carriage. The crowds go wild with his enthusiasm.

12:44 PM – The King and Queen do not appear to mind this display of utter impropriety on this otherwise lovely day.

12:47 PM – The Irish King and Queen are all smiles as they pass the crowds, happily waving at their enthusiastic audience.

12:51 PM – Princess Petunia smiles somewhat stiffly as she nods at the crowds. Prince Vernon appears disgruntled, the corners of his lips turned downwards. Perhaps he is hungry. It is nearly lunchtime, after all.

12:56 PM – All carriages have now disappeared inside the gates of Gryffindor Palace. It cannot be long now until the happy couple and their family will emerge on the balcony.

1:07 PM – The doors have opened and out glides the elegant couple.

1:09 PM – “Jily forever!” yells an excited member of the Jily Club, jumping up and down and waving her arms in the air.

1:10 PM – Prince James and Princess Lily happily greet the thousands of well-wishers in front of Gryffindor Palace.

1:13 PM – PRINCE JAMES AND PRINCESS LILY KISS!

1:15 PM – Prince James always likes to make a good show of things. He dips Princess Lily in his arms as he kisses her soundly. The crowds cheer appreciatively.

1:18 PM – Princess Lily blushes as Prince James lets go of her, giving him a playful slap on the chest before her hands reach for her flower crown to place it more securely on her head. Prince James merely winks at her.

1:23 PM – The King and Queen, Lord Sirius Black and the Irish Royal Family have now joined Prince James and Princess Lily on the balcony.

1:25 PM – Princess Petunia just sent Princess Lily a disapproving look, shaking her head in what people might take as disappointment. The heiress to the Irish throne is known to disapprove of her sister’s tendency to display her affections in public.

1:28 PM – Lord Sirius Black and Prince James laugh together as they wave to the crowds. Lord Sirius has placed his hand on Prince James’ shoulder and sends Princess Lily a winning smile, earning a bright smile from the princess in return.

1:31 PM – After a final goodbye, the royal couple and their families have left the balcony.

1:39 PM – Meanwhile the guests are waiting in line to enter the several busses which will take them to Gryffindor Palace where a stunning party is said to await them.

1:48 PM – Recently widowed Lady Bellatrix Lestrange accompanies Lord Voldemort. She wears an elegant all black ensemble to undoubtedly commemorate her late husband who died in an unfortunate speedboat accident.

1:54 PM – Rumour has it that Lady Bellatrix Lestrange is not as mournful over her husband’s death as her preference for black outfits appears to indicate… According to my colleague Xenophillius Lovegood, Lady Bellatrix has been vying for Lord Voldemort’s affections for several years now.

1:59 PM – Lord Voldemort recently spoke of the unfortunate contamination of the British throne in regards to this wedding. As a fervent supporter of blood purity amongst the royalty and aristocracy he believes Prince James is making a mistake in marrying Princess Lily who he believes descends from a contaminated blood line.

2:06 PM – When asked whether he would attend the wedding, Lord Voldemort replied he would only grace the royal family with his presence on the account of the excellent food he was promised by Lord Sirius Black at the Annual Charity Ball. “Apparently they serve hamburgers,” replied Lord Voldemort with a sneer. “The young Lord Sirius told me I could not possibly be opposed to that.”

2:09 PM – The gates of Gryffindor Palace have just opened to reveal about a hundred footmen carrying big plates of… are those hamburgers?

2:15 PM – A massive surprise from Prince James and Princess Lily. Their devoted well-wishers are given hamburgers to thank them for their support.

2:19 PM – One footman just sought me out especially, handing me a hamburger and a tiny note.

2:24 PM – _Enjoy it, Rita. Be nice. – SB_

2:39 PM – The hamburger was rather tasty, even though the message attached to it was somewhat cryptic.

2:47 PM – Hundreds of fairs are set up around the United Kingdom and Ireland to celebrate the wedding of Prince James and Princess Lily.

3:05 PM – Unfortunately, I must say goodbye to you, my loyal readers. A source just helped me get a very exclusive invite.

8:21 PM – UPDATE: In tomorrow’s The Daily Prophet “Inside The Royal Wedding: What Happened Behind Closed Doors?” by your favourite Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter.


	4. EXCLUSIVE: Inside the Royal Wedding: What Happened Behind Closed Doors?

**EXCLUSIVE: Inside The Royal Wedding: What Happened Behind Closed Doors?**   
_By The Daily Prophet’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter_

  
Two years ago I had an exclusive interview with one of Prince James’ most trusted confidants inside a broom closet in a London pub. Tonight – yesterday evening for you, dearies – I once again find myself in a broom closet. The closet, however, is placed in a far more exclusive establishment this time around. Like a beetle perched on a windowsill, I find myself in an excellent position to inspect the goings-on at the private party following the royal wedding.

Right now, my dear readers, I am seated in a rather dusty broom closet attached to the royal ballroom at Gryffindor Palace where all festivities following the royal wedding take place behind closed doors. Although one would imagine the royal broom closet to be anything but uncomfortable, I have so far nearly exposed my position three times due to my persistent allergies. Who knows what will happen were I to be found? It is safe to say that no one would like to face the consequences of as dangerous a situation as I am in.

Let’s not distract ourselves, however, from the topic at hand. Prince James and Princess Lily were married in a perfectly lovely and public ceremony today. The charming couple shared their joy with the devoted audience who cheered them on as they stood on the balcony of Gryffindor Palace. After this scene, however, the area in front of Gryffindor Palace quieted considerably. Although, perhaps partly due to the public’s munching on the hamburgers that the royals so happily handed out, the elated atmosphere present in the crowds had somewhat disappeared.

Of course, my dear readers, all of those members of the crowd – let alone the members of the Jily Club – would quite possibly have given their life to attend the private festivities following the wedding. How much would they pay to see the European royals all assembled in their glamorous gowns? Or what would they do to get the chance to see Lord Sirius Black perform his best man speech? Well, my lucky readers, you will only have to buy today’s The Daily Prophet to discover just what went on behind closed doors.

Seated in this tiny broom closet, I am capable of surveying Gryffindor Palace’s lovely royal ballroom. The Great Hall, as the royals have named it, is filled with over two hundred happy guests who gladly sip their champagne. Quite close to the secret door of this broom closet, Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore and his private secretary Minerva McGonagall discuss the happy event of the day. Minerva McGonagall commented that “she never could have dreamed that Prince James would ever grow up”, which earned her a chuckle from the Prime Minister.

On the other end of the ballroom, I see the Swedish Prince Lucius, his lovely wife Princess Narcissa and the aristocratic Black family. They are conversing in a tiny circle, lifting their noses up in disgust every once in a while when hamburgers pass them on a tray carried by a gracious footman. Lord Voldemort is among their numbers, the proud Bellatrix Lestrange clinging to his arm as though her life depended on it.

In the middle of the room, we find the lucky couple. They graciously accept everyone’s best wishes by either reaching out to hug the person in question or by inclining their heads slightly in acknowledgement. The beautiful bride has changed into a different dress for the evening. Although still white and quite possibly still designed by Madam Malkin, the young Princess has opted for a more casual dress for the evening. (As far as casual goes for a wedding dress, of course.)

The bride and groom are surrounded by their parents, who smile proudly at the couple, raising their glasses to people who wish to congratulate them every once in a while. Quite near their majesties are Lord Sirius Black, who chats animatedly with press secretary Remus Lupin. Lupin roars with laughter, having to hold onto Lord Sirius’ shoulder in order to keep from toppling over.

However peaceful this wedding reception may appear to be, the evening took a radical turn when Celestina Warbeck entered the room. Jumper designer Molly Weasley fainted at the sight of the famous singer and several windows had to be opened for fresh air before the lovely lady returned to her senses. Prince James was a true Prince Charming during this event, since he stopped the wife of antiquarian Arthur Weasley from hitting her head on the floor by catching her in his arms.

Celestina Warbeck and her acclaimed band then took centre stage for the rest of the evening and caused a right stir on the royal dance floor. Lord Sirius Black caught Remus Lupin’s arm and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lord Sirius and the bewildered press secretary slow danced on one of Celestina Warbeck’s most famous ballads. Prince James and Princess Lily soon joined the pair, holding onto one another lovingly before they started to dance around wildly as the tunes of a new Celestina Warbeck song filled the room. Celestina wrote the song especially for this occassion, earning a few laughs from those gathered when she revealed the title of the catchy song: “I Would Rather Date a Giant Squid Than Fall in Love With You”.

The dancing continued for quite a while with even Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore taking the floor with a smiling Batilda Bagshot - who recently published her bestseller Prince James and Princess Lily: A Tale of Love - on his arm. Princess Lily danced with several European royals and aristocrats, including the handsome Marquis François Delacour.

A select group of royals and aristocrats, however, did not actively involve themselves in the festivities. The Swedish royal family, Lord Voldemort and the Black family - excluding Lord Sirius Black - did not partake in the dancing and stood whispering amongst themselves in a corner of the room, glaring when Lord Sirius Black attempted to ask them to join the limbo dancing contest he and Prince James had initiated a few minutes before. Arthur Weasley was the glorious winner of the contest after a thrilling neck-and-neck race between him and Gilderoy Lockhart. The antiquarian’s proud wife, Molly Weasley, happily declared that she would knit him a jumper stating that he was the “King of Limbo”.

Princess Petunia and Prince Vernon spent their evening much like the Blacks, lifting up their noses at the - quoting Princess Petunia - “freak show of a wedding”.

Unlike some of their guests, the happy couple appeared to enjoy themselves thoroughly and isn’t that what this whole wedding reception was about? They danced to nearly every one of Celestina Warbeck’s songs, making dramatic gestures and pointing towards one another when Celestina sang the chorus of her famous love song “I Want to Share that Chocolate Cake With You, Babe”.

The festivities came to an end with fabulous fireworks by Zonko & Co. The gathered royals and aristocrats gasped louder with every single colourful arrow that exploded in the air.

When the final guests had left, Prince James and Princess Lily remained in the ballroom a bit longer. In a private moment, Princess Lily and Prince James shared an embrace. Princess Lily’s head rested on Prince James’ chest as the heir of the British throne pressed a light kiss on top of Princess Lily’s auburn hair.

With this touching moment, my night ended and left me to wonder: when will the first royal baby be announced? Soon, surely.


	5. LIVEBLOG of the Royal Baby: Will We Wear Royal Blue or Gracious Pink?

**LIVEBLOG of the Royal Baby: Will We Wear Royal Blue Or Gracious Pink?**  
_By The Daily Prophet’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter_

2:19 PM – A very good afternoon to you, my dear readers. We were expecting a royal baby in August, but it appears that this little prince or princess cannot wait to greet the world. Prince James and Princess Lily were just revealed to have left for the hospital and we may very likely see a new member added to our beautiful royal family today, the 31st of July!

2:34 PM – I am now waiting outside St Mungo’s where a professional team led by Doctor Pomfrey will support Princess Lily as best as they can. “We are ready,” said Doctor Pomfrey as she entered the hospital with a kind smile and rosy cheeks.

2:48 PM – Surrounding me are hundreds of journalists and photographers from all over the world. An excited family who had been shopping on Diagon Alley just stopped next to me. “Are we really getting a princess, mum?” asks a little girl, pulling at the hem of her mother’s dress. “Or a little prince, darling,” responds her mother to which the little girl frowns. “I want a princess!”

3:03 PM – This little girl may be onto something. Recent polls have shown that most of the Brits are hoping for a baby girl. “A girl would be marvellous, of course,” said Madam Malkin when asked. “I have the prettiest designs ready.”

3:09 PM – Famous jumper designer Molly Weasley is not as picky. “I wish the couple nothing more than a lifetime of happiness,” she said in an interview. “I will have jumpers ready in royal blue and gracious pink when the time comes.” As a mother of six sons herself, one would think that Molly Weasley would be more excited about designing girly jumpers for a change.

3:24 PM – While we await the arrival of the baby prince or princess, we’ll look back at the events that preceded this joyous day. 3:33 PM – To start of our reminiscing, we will go back to the very day the pregnancy of the Irish Princess Petunia – sister of our Princess Lily – was announced. Princess Petunia and her husband Prince Vernon were said to be “delighted to inform the world of their pregnancy”.

3:46 PM – A week after this announcement had been made, Princess Lily and Prince James flew to Ireland to join the Irish Royal Family in their celebrations.

3:52 PM – When Princess Lily vomited all over the red carpet laid out for both her and Prince James at the Irish airport, the first speculations about a possible pregnancy filled the magazines.

4:01 PM – A week afterwards – in an EXCLUSIVE interview with one of Prince James’ most trusted confidants – I revealed that Princess Lily was indeed expecting.

4:08 PM – After a few days, the reluctant couple revealed that they, indeed, were having a baby, but that they had hoped to “keep it between them for a little bit longer”.

4:21 PM – When that bombshell had been dropped, the world went mad with joy. Only a day after the announcement, Bathilda Bagshot revealed the title of her new book “A Day in the Life of a Royal Baby”, while Madam Malkin spoke of releasing fashionable dresses for mothers-to-be.

4:39 PM – Needless to say, when Princess Lily appeared in one of Madam Malkin’s adjusted dresses a few months into her pregnancy, the dresses sold out in no time. “We just want to show Princess Lily that we support her,” said Mary MacDonald, president of the Jily Club. The Jily Club bought two hundred dresses from Madam Malkin’s line for mothers-to-be. “Only Alice is truly pregnant, due around the same day as Princess Lily, but we wear the dresses regardless.” 4:57 PM – Princess Lily endured several common pregnancy complaints. “My feet are humongous,” she was overheard as

she spoke to Albus Dumbledore’s private secretary, Minerva McGonagall. “James thinks it’s terribly funny.”

5:13 PM – We have now been waiting outside of the hospital for three hours. More and more members of the public join us, hoping to catch a glimpse of Prince James and the new-born heir or heiress to the British throne… Will we see the baby before dark?

5:22 PM – A few members of the Jily Club have arrived, wearing what appear to be Molly Weasley’s jumpers to commemorate the royal birth. One jumper reads: “Push, Princess, push!”

5:37 PM – Lord Sirius Black just arrived at the hospital, taking a bite of a hamburger as he waved at those gathered outside. Press Secretary Remus Lupin followed him in quickly, undoubtedly afraid that Lord Sirius would cause yet another scandal.

5:49 PM – Princess Lily’s sister and heir to the Irish throne, Princess Petunia, delivered a healthy baby prince only five weeks ago. Born on June 23rd, Prince Dudley arrived at a more than healthy weight of over nine pounds.

6:10 PM – When asked about his thoughts on the addition to the Irish Royal Family, Lord Sirius replied with a smirk: “Pity that Petunia and Vernon can’t exchange clothes no longer.” Lord Sirius Black (rudely) referred to Princess Petunia’s drastic weight gain during her pregnancy. Princess Lily has been more fortunate in this department.

6:23 PM – Some animosity has formed between Princess Lily and Princess Petunia after Princess Lily announced her pregnancy. Princess Petunia has been said to have been less than pleased with her sister stealing her limelight.

6:44 PM – Due to her pregnancy, Princess Lily was unable to travel with Prince James on a royal visit to China. During Prince James’ absence, Lord Sirius Black supported Princess Lily rather marvellously.

7:03 PM – Photographs were revealed showing Princess Lily and Lord Sirius Black enjoying a class on breathing techniques for labour.

7:15 PM – According to Rolanda Hooch, instructor of the class, there was a bit too much laughter coming from the royal side of the room, but – she said – “I am confident that Princess Lily will do splendidly when the day comes”.

7:42 PM – Rumour has it that a royal baby has just seen the light. No official comment from the palace yet, but the crowd’s excitement has peaked.

8:03 PM – A BABY PRINCE IS BORN!

8:16 PM – Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore just announced that Princess Lily delivered a healthy baby boy. Both Prince James and Princess Lily are delighted.

8:32 PM – The King and Queen have arrived at the hospital. The proud grandparents smile brightly and greet the crowds happily.

8:51 PM – The tiny prince’s name will be revealed by Prince James in about twenty minutes when he will show the baby to the people and press gathered outside of the hospital.

9:04 PM – The doors to the hospital have been opened and lights have been installed to make sure we can see the two princes properly.

9:16 PM – PRINCE JAMES AND HIS SON HAVE EMERGED!

9:20 PM – Prince James holds his son proudly, smiling down at the little prince in his arms as the baby yawns slightly while the cameras flash without a pause.

9:23 PM – “Obviously, we think he is the most beautiful baby we’ve ever seen,” says Prince James when asked about his and his wife’s feelings.

9:24 PM – “His name is Harry,” Prince James says, turning the baby a bit in his arms so the photographers can see his face a bit better. Dark hair covers the baby’s tiny head. “Prince Harry James.”

9:26 PM – “My wife is amazing,” Prince James answers when asked about his wife’s health. “I think she’s anxiously awaiting our return.”

9:34 PM – After a few more questions, Prince James heads back inside the hospital to enjoy his little family in private. Press Secretary Remus Lupin takes a few gifts from the crowds, thanking them kindly.

9:58 PM – Molly Weasley’s jumpers are online: “Royal Blue it is! Welcome, Prince Harry James! @MollyWeasleyJumpers”.

10:09 PM – Lord Sirius Black has just left the hospital. Was he slightly emotional or was that just a figment of my imagination? He would be one of the first in his family to show any emotion.

10:13 PM – Lord Sirius Black’s car just stopped in front of me. A window rolled down to reveal a smirking Lord Sirius: “What do you say, Rita? You, me and a hamburger?”

10:14 PM – After declining his gracious offer, Lord Sirius drove off, making room for a black car that stopped in front of the hospital. Are Prince James and Princess Lily bringing their son home to their mansion, Godric’s Hollow?

10:27 PM – Prince James and Princess Lily have just left the hospital. Princess Lily cradled her baby son to her chest, smiling at the public and waving at them as Prince James stepped behind the wheel, driving his wife and son home. 10:54 PM – One can only hope that tiny Prince Harry will grow up to be as entertaining as either of his parents. (Thank goodness that Lord Sirius is not related by blood…)

11:02 PM – After those memorable kisses on the balcony and a most wonderful wedding, Prince James and Princess Lily have given us yet another thing to rejoice about. Welcome to the world, Prince Harry. I am certain we will meet again soon…


	6. Red Alert: Prince Harry's Secret Rendez Vous With Jumper Designer Molly Weasley's Daughter REVEALED

 

**Red Alert: Prince Harry’s Secret Rendez Vous With Jumper Designer Molly Weasley’s Daughter REVEALED**

By  _The Daily Prophet_ ’s Royal Correspondent Rita Skeeter 

 

It seems as though Prince Harry was born only yesterday, but the 18-year-old royal has done some incredible growing up. The handsome teen has won over many a young woman’s heart with his tiny smirks and somewhat clumsy attitude. Previously linked to the only daughter of the billionaire Lee Chang, Prince Harry has had his fair share of romantic experience. However, no one expected the young prince to rebel against and deny his royal origin by dating a commoner. 

Although his parents were attacked by blood supremists when the young prince was too young to remember any of it, the handsome teen has been seeing the daughter of a well-known commoner for a few months now, according to a source inside of Gryffindor Palace’s walls. Daughter of jumper designer Molly Weasley, Ginevra Weasley - also known as Ginny - has seduced the young royal and has managed to win the hearts of King James and Queen Lily.

It seems that Prince Harry takes after his father, having a preference for women with red hair. Queen Lily’s auburn hair may be a shade darker than Ginevra’s ginger, but a striking resemblance between the two women can be drawn. Yet, while Queen Lily’s ivory skin is flawless, Ginevra’s freckles show that she is - unlike the Queen - not born to be royal.

One must wonder how the daughter of a simple jumper designer has come into contact with one so highly placed. Molly Weasley, however, has provided the Royal Family with hundreds of jumpers over the years. A jumper by Molly Weasley has been the favoured Christmas present within the royal household since before the King and Queen’s marriage. Yet, although the jumper designer has never done anything but express her support for the Royal Family, her children appear to be interested in matters of social climbing mostly.

For Ginevra Weasley is not the first in her family to climb the social ladder. Her older brother, William Weasley - known as Bill by friends and family - has recently been spotted on the arm of Lady Fleur Delacour, daughter of the French Marquis François Delacour. Even though he has been involved in a dramatic motorcycle accident that disfigured his face considerably, Lady Fleur appears to have fallen for his rugged charm.

What is it about the Weasley children then that makes them so prone to social climbing? For not only William and Ginevra have shown these tendencies, their brothers Percy Weasley and Ronald Weasley have also come into close contact with those of a higher class. Percy Weasley has become the Junior Assistent of Barty Crouch, Head of National Security, whereas Ronald Weasley is Prince Harry’s self-proclaimed best friend. 

The only three Weasley children who appear to be more like their parents and less prone to social climbing are Charlie, Fred and George Weasley. Self-made Charlie Weasley has become a successful presenter of wildlife programmes, while the inventive Weasley twins are famous game makers.

Insiders at court proclaim Prince Harry’s relationship with Ginevra Weasley his most serious relationship to date. The athletic Weasley daughter is set to take part in this summer’s Olympic Games and is considered to be one of Great Britain’s medal hopefuls on the 100m sprint, a match Prince Harry has expressed a keen interest in on several occassions. 

Queen Lily and King James are said to have welcomed their son’s girlfriend with open arms, even though the addition of a commoner to the Royal Family will upset several royals and aristocrats who are thought to have been involved with the attack on the Royal Family’s life seventeen years ago. Their safety has been in jeopardy ever since and the King, Queen and their son are guarded every minute of their days by the members of the exclusive Order of the Phoenix, headed by former Prime Minister Albus Dumbledore. Although many relieved sighs may have gone up within the Order of the Phoenix that Prince Harry fell for Ginevra Weasley instead of his close friend Hermione Granger, whose working class background has been considered more scandalous than the middle class Weasley’s, several members of the Order must hope that Prince Harry’s infatuation is merely temporary.

No one, however, expects Prince Harry to end his relationship anytime soon and which other adoloscent boy would disagree with him after those billboards went up to promote the Olympic Games? Dressed in nothing more than a skimpy outfit, Ginevra Weasley shows just why Prince Harry noticed her in the first place.


End file.
